Friday November 17 2018

Dear Sir Graham,

This is a letter to express no confidence in Theresa May as Leader of the Conservative Party and to request a ballot of confidence in her as holder of that position under the condition, first, that she has clearly lost the confidence of a significant section of the Conservative Parliamentary Party (an assessment to be established by yourself in close consultation with myself); second, that no sum below £100,000 has been received from either the Department of Digital, Culture, Media and Sport and/or Conservative Campaign Headquarters for the refurbishment of the roof of the working headquarters of Grummidge West Conservative Association (address to be provided to yourself in unminuted coversation with myself together with relevant bank account details) by 8am this coming Monday, November 19; and, third, a further unminuted conversation, this time in relation to the workings of the honours system, is to take place by 18.00 tomorrow, Sunday November 18, between yourself, myself and Lady – apologies – Mrs Prufrock at a secure location the address of which is to be determined by yourself and myself during that first unminuted conversation which must take place by 23.30 this evening, Saturday November 17, by which time I will have returned from my evening engagements, details of which I cannot disclose for security reasons.  I trust all this is clear.

Yours sincerely,


P.S: Please eat this note after reading.