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Theresa May had one good swipe at Jeremy Corbyn. Drawing herself up like Lady Bracknell, she declared: “I thank the Honourable Gentleman for telling me it’s International Women’s Day tomorrow. I think that’s what’s called mansplaining.”

The rest of her performance was less enjoyable. It consisted of fobbing him and everyone else off with the assured and over-lengthy recitation of platitudes.

Corbyn too was over-long, and changed awkwardly half-way through from Saudi Arabia to rough sleeping.

Why couldn’t he give us some rough speaking to wake us up? Instead he went on reading from his prepared text, which allowed the Prime Minister to bore everyone into submission.

The Labour leader’s handlers might at least give him short questions, which make evasive answers more obvious, and therefore more embarrassing. But the dismal truth is that nobody even in his own team any long expects him to be any good, or to force May to raise her game.

Ian Blackford, for the SNP, went on branch closures by the Royal Bank of Scotland, a topic he has raised a number of times before, and which was soon leading to eye closures.

Emma Reynolds (Lab, Wolverhampton North East) asked why last year there was a 60 per cent drop in apprenticeships – a good, short question.

The Prime Minister suggested it was something to do with the apprenticeship levy, but for a split second she had been embarrassed.

12 comments for: Andrew Gimson’s PMQs sketch: May fobs Corbyn and the rest of us off with platitudes

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