By Paul Goodman
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Screen shot 2012-10-08 at 23.59.11"Casca; tell us what hath chanced to-day.
"  (Julius Caesar, Act 1, Scene 2)

"The Mayor of London blew into its conference in Birmingham, a hurricane of
blond hair, media attention and other people’s speculation about his
prospects of one day taking David Cameron’s job." (James Kirkup, Daily Telegraph)

 "Why, there was a crown offered him: and being offered him, he put it by with the back of his hand, thus; and then the people fell a-shouting…he put it by once: but, for all that, to my
thinking, he would fain have had it."

 "His reception – in a city not noted for its Tory support – was more suited to
a rock star than a politician, with crowds of passengers chanting his name
at New Street station."

"Then he
offered it to him again; then he put it by again:
but, to my thinking, he was very loath to lay his
fingers off it."

 "At the conference centre, he was surrounded by a scrum of cameramen and
photographers so intense that one was thrown to the floor and required
medical attention."

"And then he offered it the third time; he put it the third time by: and still as he
refused it, the rabblement hooted and clapped their
chapped hands and threw up their sweaty night-caps
and uttered such a deal of stinking breath because
Caesar refused the crown that it had almost choked Caesar; for he swounded and fell down at it: and
for mine own part, I durst not laugh, for fear of
opening my lips and receiving the bad air."

 "Mr Johnson insisted he had nothing but loyalty for Mr Cameron, paying
extravagant tribute to the Prime Minister and his ministers."

"He fell down in the market-place, and foamed at mouth, and was speechless."

"But even as he played the loyal retainer, the mayor could not resist
performing to the Conservative gallery with a declaration of support for
selective education."

 "Marry, before he fell down, when he perceived the
common herd was glad he refused the crown, he
plucked me ope his doublet and offered them his
throat to cut."

 "That was a far-from-subtle reminder of Mr Cameron’s still contentious decision
to end the Conservatives’ traditional backing for grammar schools."

"And so
he fell. When he came to himself again, he said,
If he had done or said any thing amiss, he desired
their worships to think it was his infirmity."

 "Mr Johnson was addressing a rally of almost 1,000 Tory members who cheered his
arrival and applauded a performance that also took in aviation policy, an
economic recovery and the “terror” of French tax rates."

or four wenches, where I stood, cried 'Alas, good soul!' and forgave him with all their hearts: but
there's no heed to be taken of them; if Caesar had
stabbed their mothers, they would have done no less."