Published:

38 comments

Exclusive
ConservativeHome.com has learnt of a secret CCHQ policy group that is drawing up radical plans to complete David Cameron’s modernisation of the Conservative Party.  The group, which has been meeting over Petit Chablis in Notting Hill wine bars, is drawing up plans to ensure that Queen Elizabeth II is Britain’s last monarch.  "It will be the ultimate modernisation," one A-list member of the policy group told ConservativeHome, "proving beyond doubt that we are no longer the party of privilege but truly meritocratic."

Frank Luntz has found that a focus group of eight Liberal Democrat-inclined voters in marginal seats love the idea.  Steve Hilton has drawn up an ideal list of candidates to become Britain’s first directly-elected head of state.  Half of the candidates are men, half women and 36.9% cycle to work.

Prince Charles was initially furious about the Tory idea and feared an abrupt end to his public life.  David Cameron has apparently reassured the heir to the throne with a promise of a seat in his first Cabinet.  Charles Windsor will sit as Secretary of State for the Natural and Built Environment.  Prince Harry will head a new task force that will examine the success of the Government’s deregulation of pub opening hours.

Edward Leigh is leading Cornerstone MPs against the move and Bill Cash yesterday told this website that he saw the plan as all part of Britain’s surrender to the European Union and to the spirit of the French Revolution.  Simon Heffer was said to be too angry to comment but will be writing 4,000 words about the decline of Britain in tomorrow’s Daily Telegraph.

In other news: Tony Blair to become theatre star after Downing Street, Iain Dale to run for Mayor and  ToryRadio’s Jonathan Sheppard to defect to Labour.

38 comments for: Cameron advisers draw up secret plan to abolish monarchy

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.