Marry in haste, repent at leisure: a piece of advice that seems as pertinent as ever, even in the age of the quickie divorce. Advice that more and more people seem to be taking onboard, given the rising average age of first marriage (although one can marry in haste at any age).
In his column for the New York Times, Ross Douthut says that for Americans those averages now stand at 27 for women and 29 for men, “both historic highs.” But there’s an even more interesting statistic:
If nothing else, this is an object lesson in the limited usefulness of averages, as ‘on average’ all Americans are born outside marriage! What it actually means, of course, is that more children are being born out of wedlock – 48% of all first births, in fact.
As noted yesterday on the Deep End, this isn’t good news for children. But what about adults? It is argued by some that changing patterns of family formation are actually good for women. There’s some evidence to back this up:
However, it has to be remembered that this group of women are the least likely to have children before getting married. Looking at the overall picture for the whole population, one can certainly see a link between later marriage and the growing proportion of children born outside of marriage; but at the level of the individual, the two things are not one and the same and have very different impacts.
In any case, it’s not all about income:
Why would early marriages tend be to happier marriages? Douthat suggests that “an emotionally stable person who doesn’t drink to excess is more likely to get married in the first place.” Certainly, we can infer various good things about the character of a young man who is willing to consider marriage and its commitments.
However, the cause-and-effect can work both ways. As a social institution that raises expectations of, and confers status upon, those who shoulder its responsibilities, marriage surely has the potential to form, as well as reflect, character.
In this respect, the primary threat to the power of traditional marriage as a social institution is not same sex marriage, but heterosexual cohabitation:
Cohabitation is, in theory, a trial run for marriage, but what it actually does is blur the guidelines for those who need them most.