Amidst the wreckage this morning, there are a few points of light. But that cackling noise you hear from Kensington is George Osborne laughing his head off.
Damian Hinds is Education Secretary, Esther McVey goes to Work and Pensions, Matt Hancock takes over at Culture, Media and Sport.
The new Deputy Chairman hails the “fantastic opportunity” to get the Party fighting fit.
“I very much look forward to working alongside you again when you are back to full health,” she replies.
The new Party Chairman becomes the first appointment of the reshuffle.
Cabinet Ministers were told yesterday that the shuffle will be “significant”, but that word covers a multitude of possibilities.
It is hard to appoint more women to Cabinet when there are few senior women to promote. We count only four at Minister of State level.
Bringing on more women, rising stars and members of the 2015 intake – or even this year’s – will bring less gain than it could if such moves are not part of a policy plan.
The course consistent with this site’s recommendations is to appoint a more junior Cabinet Office Minister.
Futhermore, the Government needs to sharpen up its sense of mission. And there is a heap of talent on the Tory backbenches.
The Mercers, Tugendhats and Cleverlys get a lot of media coverage. However, most promotions come from the ranks of the toiling Ministers of State.
Plus: How many letters has Brady had? The tragedy of the death of Carl Sargeant. And: introducing my new podcast with Jacqui Smith.
Replacing one female Brexiteer with another is an elegant solution, but the new International Development Secretary brings experience to the role too.
This means not bullying people into voting for the Government, and not making grown men and women cry.
Elective surgical centres would be an efficient way to lighten the load on acute hospitals. The health service must be less monolithic in order to cope better.