Garvan Walshe: Leaked Transcript of May’s meeting with Trump

“I had one of your guys in here the other day. Amazing guy. Brilliant guy. Gove. Gorgeous Gove. Wrote a tremendous article – a stupendous article – about me.”

Andrew Kennedy: What Denis Thatcher said about my car. And other things that shouldn’t happen to an agent.

Alternative Bank Holiday fare to more on Corbyn and Momentum.

Cabinet catches Farage moustache craze. Shocking new pictures.

Hammond’s leads by a whisker.

Cameron’s resignation list. Our quick quiz answers.

Which former aide turned down a peerage? See text (and picture left).

Who is the only pro-Leave Minster to gain an honour in Cameron’s list? Take ConHome’s quick quiz.

Answers to be published this afternoon.

Reggie to Dessie: My pitch for leader – my great-uncle was a bus driver. He drove one to help break the General Strike in 1926.

Plus: Boris’s multiple problems. The Chancellor’s dodgy figures. Euro referendum recriminations everywhere. And: SNP MPs in white Y-front shreddies.

Ted Yarbrough: When the United States exchanged its independence for membership of the Americas Union…

How fortunate Britain is to have a Prime Minister who – like any American President imaginable – never voices a view on other counties’ internal affairs.

From Reggie to Dessie: Davis goes on tour – “like Gladstone, but without the sense of humour”

Plus: Boris wrecks the Black and White Ball. Colonel Simpson meets the Romanovs. Soames contra mundum. And: swimming lessons with Penny Mordaunt.

From Reggie to Dessie: Anne Milton, Soames, gender fluidity…and poppers

Also: Britain Stranger in Europe. Leagues of Empire Loyalists in Kettering. Elliott and Coates in bars and bogs. Plus: Donald Tusk or is it Trump?

Cashes to Ashes. The incredible shape-shifting story of David Bowie, sorry, Cameron

His latest album, “EU Referendum”, apparently features a mind-bending first – a track, “Renegotiation”, that will contain nothing at all.

From Reggie to Dessie: It’s Mike Penning as Father Christmas – and carols led by Dr Coffey on a karaoke machine

Plus: Boris’s party is raided by the Vice and Drugs Squads. The Home Secretary says it was “a police operational decision”

From Reggie to Dessie: Calling all Tory MPs. If in doubt of your sexuality, please consult Dr Sarah Wollaston or Dr Phillip Lee

Plus: Soames makes his way towards a gender-neutral loo. Lunch with Tyrie, lunch with Kirby. The Shipley Strangler strikes again. And: George Simpson saves the day.

From Reggie to Dessie: “Corbyn emerged like a badly-dressed Christmas tree, and was smoothed down by a Palace Footman.”

Plus: Portaloos for the Lords Car Park. My ancestor’s exploits at Agincourt. The Spectre of Mel Stride. And: Priti Patel at the Male, Pale and Stale.

From Reggie to Dessie: Conference walkers. Will the PM’s next piece of arm candy be Johnny Mercer?

Plus: Tracey Crouch gets a women’s rugby team to bar the Chancellor. And: a new Tory One-Night-Stand dating app called Blue on Blue…

From Reggie to Dessie: How the Speaker returned a favour to Mrs Balls

Plus: Soames’s “serious environmental work” (i.e: shooting). Brothers Cash and Jenkin lose the plot. The agony of Kevan Jones. And: I am shaken by a Psychedelic Orgasm.