By Paul Goodman
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- The benign and mustachioed elderly gentleman, himself clearly a survivor from the pre-Big Bang age, has vanished from the box.
- The top hat, dog, thimble and iron have disappeared from the set of tokens. All that is available are flash motorcycles, fast cars, speed boats and a (clearly private) jet.
- Old Kent Road, Trafalgar Square, Mayfair and the rest of the familiar London surroundings have been replaced by such locations as Movie District, Showtime Boulevard and Bling Beach.
- Instead of Community Chest, with its grim reminders of the realities of life (paying income tax on compulsion, stumping up fines, or only winning second prize in a beauty contest), there is a "Fortune Series", which includes "Sly Deal! – Steal a property card from a player of your choice".
- The rules now explicitly state that "you win when you have £1 million in cash. No need to bankrupt everyone else." But everyone knows that capitalism requires bankruptcies as well as fortunes – and that sometimes the same people enjoy both (though not usually at once).
- You can "upgrade your mover to give you a better chance of winning" with a view to "living the high life".
- Above all, something worrying has happened to money. The lowest note available is £1 million. Has Mark Carney taken charge of the game and installed nominal GDP targetting?
Oh, hang on. I take it all back. On closer inspection, we've been playing a newer game called Monopoly Millionaire.
None the less, I feel that there is a moral in all this about the banking crisis and the condition of capitalism. I don't like to think what it could be.
P.S: And no, I'm not bitter and twisted just because I didn't win.