My situation is not uncommon. I was educated at my local comprehensives in London. I live with just my mother. I have seen my friends and peers fall into drug abuse, get pregnant, go to prison and re-offend, join “gangs”, leave school with no GCSEs and even murdered. Many of us are scarred by divorce and family breakdown. For all of that, I cannot blame the current Government.
However, one in five of us is 'not in education, employment or training'. We had flat screen TVs dotted around the school but shared photocopied textbooks between two. We were taught in temporary classrooms put up after a fire 25 years ago. Our average grade at GCSE was a D. The gap between us and our privately-educated counterparts is widening. Up to 200,000 sixth formers this year with good grades will miss out on a university place. My contemporaries are dying in Afghanistan. For all of this I know exactly who to blame.
Yet we don't blame Labour because we know nothing better and because we feel guilty: how can we complain when we're told repeatedly how many "opportunities" this Government has given us? We know nothing but a Brown shade of fairness, Harperson's equality, and a Balls education. We've come to love and depend on our captors. A whole generation is clearly suffering from Stockholm Syndrome, direly dependent on the State – and Labour would have us stay this way to ensure we vote for them for years to come.
However, the battle is not yet lost: many of my generation won't vote Labour just because our parents do, out of spite. In short, we are the perfect floating voters. More than that, we are the "Great Ignored" David Cameron is so keen to target.
If the Conservative Party can hammer home the message that they can offer us something better, we will rebel against our captors. The issues that most concern us are in fact very similar to those of traditional Conservatives – crime, the economy, education, family stability. We just haven't realised it yet.
Politicians don't need to speak to us lyk dis so dat we get it. Being the self-absorbed creatures that we are, we just need to know what's in it for us. Make politics relevant to our lives and make the choice obvious.
More police on the beat means less chance of us being harassed or our phones stolen. Marriage tax breaks may encourage our parents to stay together. Lower taxes will mean we will be able to shop and go out more (whilst doing our bit to help the economic recovery). 100,000 apprenticeships will help us onto the career ladder. Access to better cancer drugs will mean our parents and grandparents are around longer. A strong pound will make it cheaper for us to go to an Ashram or on holiday to Magaluf.
Please, appeal to our lazy natures and let us know how easy all this is to achieve – that all we need to do is vote Conservative on May 6th.