Two days ago, the psychic elephant from Hamburg Zoo with a hundred per cent record to date predicted that Germany would beat England yesterday evening in the European Championships.

In the light of the result, we suggest swapping the elephant for Bob Blackman, who at 7.53 yesterday morning submitted an article we were unable to use.

“At 5pm this evening, tens of millions of people will tune in to England’s last 16 match against Germany,” it began, before concluding “2-0 England is my prediction by the way”.

This site’s pre-Saturday priority is to report whatever the Harrow East MP has to say about England’s quarter final in Rome against Ukraine.