By Paul Goodman
Follow Paul on Twitter.
- Toby Helm is the Political Editor of the Observer.
- Tory Education News is a mystery account on Twitter. It describes itself as "pantomime villian of leftie education folk".
- The two are at war. No-one can quite remember why. But in an act of proportionate editorial judgement, the Observer splashed on the story yesterday.
- Gove wife and Times columnist Sarah Vine, famous for hiding his underpants and limiting sex to once a month, has joined battle on her husband's side.
- The whole business is something to do with Dominic Cummings, one of Gove's Special Advisers.
- Tory Education News has tweeted Helm a tranquilising video of a Bach Brandenburg Concerto.
- A video claiming to show Cummings expounding his political views has been tweeted. However, it shows Colonel Kurtz from Apocalypse Now expounding his philosophy of life.
- Over the weekend, odds on Gove quitting the Cabinet were dramatically slashed.
- Stephen Twigg, Labour's Education Spokesman, has called for an enquiry.
- And that's the most sense I can make of it all, I'm afraid.