He names his favourite carol, pledges an independent inquiry into anti-Muslim hatred within the Tory Party, and says his record explains why he can be trusted.
The former Party Chairman and Chief Whip says the only way to save moderate conservatism is to get Brexit through.
The front runner on extension, Scotland, that Islamophobia inquiry, wrestling naked with Hunt – and taking a Trollope to bed in Downing Street.
He says he’s best placed to deliver Brexit, slash corporation tax and beat Corbyn. And adds “I am not going to criticise Boris for going to a posher public school than me.”
He expects her plan to be voted down on Tuesday, calls for a renegotiation which she could not conceivably lead – and rules out Norway Plus.