Published:

Screen shot 2012-12-03 at 09.19.09

By Paul Goodman
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I married my wife
In the month of June,
Risseldy, rosseldy,
Mow, mow, mow

Readers will remember the scene in Hitchcock's "The Birds" in which Melanie Daniels, played by Tippi Henren, sits on a bench outside a school as birds gather behind her and children sing –

I carried her off
In a silver spoon,
Risseldy, Rosseldy,
Hey bambassity,
Nickety, nackety,
Retrical quality,
Willowby, wallowby,
Mow, mow, mow.


I thought of the scene today while editing ConservativeHome's newslinks this morning, and reading Tim Montgomerie's piece on this site about Jeremy Hunt's plans for the NHS.

She combed her hair
But once a year,
Risseldy, rosseldy,
Mow, mow, mow.

It also came to mind when I was reading the Health Secretary's own article in the Guardian on the same theme.

With every rake
She shed a tear,
Risseldy, Rosseldy,
Hey bambassity,
Nickety, nackety,
Retrical quality,
Willowby, wallowby,
Mow, mow, mow.

Perhaps this was because I'd already read a report in today's Financial Times about a Nuffield Trust report which says that by 2020 pressures could send the NHS bill soaring by £34 billion.

She swept the floor
But once a year,
Risseldy, rosseldy,
Mow, mow, mow.

And another one in the Guardian under the headline "Hospitals 'full to bursting' as bed shortage hits danger level".

She swore her broom
Was much to dear,
Risseldy, Rosseldy,
Hey bambassity,
Nickety, nackety,
Retrical quality,
Willowby, wallowby,
Mow, mow, mow.

Now there is a seldom a shortage of NHS stories in the papers.  But the count this morning seemed unusually high.

She churned her butter
In Dad's old boot,
Risseldy, rosseldy,
Mow, mow, mow,

The Met Office is reporting "lower than normal temperatures"…"winds
predominantly from the NE"…."a risk of sleet and snow"…

And for a dasher
Used her foot,
Risseldy, Rosseldy,
Hey bambassity,
Nickety, nackety,
Retrical quality,
Willowby, wallowby,
Mow, mow, mow.

The awaited "NHS funding crisis", complete with patients being turned
away from wards, ambulances parked outside A & E departments, and furious medical staff hasn't happened…yet.

The butter came out
A grizzly gray,
Risseldy, rosseldy,
Mow, mow, mow,

But I wonder if Mr Hunt is looking behind him on that bench and seeing those newspaper stories fly in and settle.  First one…then four…then –

The cheese took legs
And ran away,
Risseldy, Rosseldy,
Hey bambassity,
Nickety, nackety,
Retrical quality,
Willowby, wallowby,
Mow, mow, mow.

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