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GALLOWAY George

The ConservativeHome duty editor of the day kicks off their early morning with a roundup of the papers for the newslinks.

It’s a task made all the more tricky on April Fool’s Day, when you have to make sure you don’t accidentally list any prank stories as real. I think we successfully avoided them all this morning.

However, it strikes me there are plenty of bits of real news that are perhaps better suited to being jokes.

Here are a few that fit the bill:

1) Labour complaining that taxpayers have been “shortchanged” by the government

Remember Gordon Brown and the gold, anyone?

2) The Guardian supporting people who want to, er, close down a mine

Anti Mining

Dole not coal! Dole not coal! Wait, is this right?

3) Chris Huhne actually gets paid to comment on politics…

…and is somehow still a vaguely acceptable member of polite society.

4) The same scientists who came up with ‘five a day’ now think we actually need more

Instead, we should apparently be eating seven portions of fruit and veg a day. Or is it ten? Anyway, eat until you feel sick and it’ll probably be on the mark.

5) There are people with 50 or more criminal convictions still walking the streets…

…and yet is is apparently a surprise that thousands of them reoffend each year.

6) Ed Miliband is a strong leader. Honest. Stop giggling.

‘[John Trickett] was forthright in his defence of Miliband, who has been under pressure to be bolder on the policy front and was voted the “weirdest” of the three main party leaders. “Ed is a very strong leader”‘ – Huffington Post

7) Someone still takes George Galloway seriously

Okay, that one remaining person is George Galloway himself, but still:

8) Nigel Farage and Dmitry Medvedev continue the pretence of being separate individuals

They both hate gay marriage, want Russia to own the Crimea and think Putin is awesome…and then there’s the small matter of having the same face:

Medvedev Farage

 

When will one – or both – come clean?

27 comments for: Eight things that should be April Fool’s jokes – but aren’t

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